Testing our faith

''Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.'' Romans 5:3-5

I was reminded this morning that we may not always see God's bigger plan, but we can rest in knowing that whatever we are going through- good or bad- He always has a reason for allowing us to go through it.

I wanted to share my morning devotion on my blogspot today....
First, because I'm greatful for God's faithfulness and steadfast love. It's incredibly comforting for me to know that God is always faithful in giving us exactly what we need through His word at precisly the right time.
He knows just what we need to hear in order to be encouraged;and to nudge us back on track when we lose focus Him.
Second, because It's important for us as believers to remember that no matter what we, or any of our brothers and sisters in Christ face- God can, will, and wants to use it to strengthen us.
And third, because far too often it's easy to forget that every single one of us is going to face some type of struggle in our lives simply because we are human. I know for myself that every single time I forget that, God allows me to go through whatever suffering it is until I realize that He is in control of my life, and that I will never take a single breathe apart from him or without needing to lean on Him and His word. I know that even though the suffering may seem like it will never end, I can be confident in the promise of Philippians 1:6- ''that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
 Click here for my morning devotion.

During the wee hours of this morning, my mind was filled with thoughts. I needed to take some time to sort them out- to pray and meditate on the things running steadily through it.
As I layed on the picnic table on my patio and gazed at the stars, my mind wandered to Psalm 147:2-5...
"The LORD builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit." 
The past few months, I have been beating myself up because of criticism from others; for feeling overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities, and for not being able to live up to my own expectations and the expectations of others.
I allowed my focus to be shifted to living for others rather than living solely for Christ and Christ alone. I feel like there are times in our lives when we become so consumed with the way others view us that we forget our purpose is not to be perfect Christians but to be understanding towards others, to show them the same grace, love and mercy that Christ has shown and continues to show for us.
I finally realized something as I was laying there on that picnic table under each of those stars that our God created, numbered and named. I realized that the moment we accept that we will not always live up to the expectations of others or ourselves, is the moment we can stop beating ourselves up and find true peace and rest in Christ, and the grace and mercy that He has so richly poured out upon our lives.
God knew we would never be perfect. That is why He sent his Son.
He knew that our time on earth would  be filled with trials of all sorts and that it would be especially difficult for us as believers.  He also knew there would be times of joy and sadness; triumph and dissapointment; times when we would need the truest kind of compassion, understanding and encouragement- the kind that we can only find in Him.
I believe Mr. C.H. Spurgeon said it best when he said,
 "The hill of comfort is the hill of Calvary; the house of consolation is built with the wood of the cross; the temple of heavenly blessing is founded upon the riven rock—riven by the spear which pierced His side. No scene in sacred history ever gladdens the soul like Calvary's tragedy . . . You who have had your seasons of conflict, will confess that it was not at Olivet that you ever found comfort, not on the hill of Sinai, nor on Tabor; but Gethsemane, Gabbath, and Golgotha have been a means of comfort to you. The bitter herbs of Gethsemane have often taken away the bitters of your life; the scourge of Gabbatha has often scourged away your cares; and the groans of Calvary yield us comfort rare and rich."
I know I may not be the perfect wife, mother, child, grandchild, or friend...or perfect at anything really; but I am created by a perfect, most holy, loving, understanding, compassionate Heavenly Father and with that knowledge, I can rest assured everything will be just fine!

A breakfast date with Ellie Kate!

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

I love Mommy/Daughter date's with Ellie Kate. I enjoy having one on one time to talk to her and hear what's on her mind. I especially enjoy watching her interact with the people around her. I don't care where we are or what age the person with whom she is socializing, she always grabs his/her attention and will bring a smile to their face.  She definitely has a heart of compassion and a sincere love for others.
Last week I decided to take Ellie Kate out to breakfast-just the two of us. We decided to go to a restaurant only a few miles down the road because I needed to be back home at a certain time.
The moment we walked through the door of the restaurant, there was a huge claw machine filled with stuffed animals of every kind. Naturally, Ellie Kate wanted to put money in and see if she could "win" a small stuffed pony. I said that would be fine. We had to wait a minute before they could seat us, so why not. Well, I'll tell you why not- Because to my surprise, when I reached in my purse to grab my wallet, it was not there! I remembered then, that I left it in the diaper bag........which was with Jude.......at Momma and Daddy's house. Yep, that's where it was.
Just when I realized I'd left it at Momma's, the lady came to seat us. I knew I had my check-book, so no big deal right?
It wouldn't have been if they took checks, but they didn't. I quickly called Momma. "Don't worry about it. Just call before you get ready to leave and your Daddy or I will bring it to you." she said.
"Thank you so much!!", I exclaimed with a sigh of relief.
We ordered our drinks and food. Then, we talked about any and everything that was on Ellie Kate's mind. We talked about her friends, going to Disney World for her birthday, and what we would do for the rest of the week. Then, Ellie Kate glanced over her left shoulder and noticed another little girl her age, who was sitting with her grandmother.
She quickly introduced herself by saying "Hello, My name is Ellie Kate. What is your name?"

The little girl told Ellie Kate her name and without hesitation, Ellie Kate said, "Would you like to come sit with me and my Mommy? My Mommy doesn't mind. Do you Mommy?" I smiled and said, "Not a bit."

           

  And so we enjoyed the company of a sweet little girl while we waited on our breakfast......

                Unfortunately, Ellie Kate's new "friend" and her grandmother had to say goodbye, but shortly after, our breakfast was served.

 Checkout Ellie Kate's awesome pancake!

After we finished eating my Daddy showed up with my wallet!

And because he is an awesome "Bop Bop", he had money for the claw machine! Can you guess who helped 

Ellie Kate win this while I payed for breakfast?????

You guessed it!! Her awesome "Bop Bop"!

We had such a wonderful Mommy/Daughter date and I can't wait to do it again!  I love making sweet memories with my sweet girl!

Boy's will be boy's!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." -James 1:17

It has been over a month since my last blog. I would love to post a new blog everyday, and I would if I could!
However, I hardly have the time because I have a sweet, 10 month old, typical boy, who at 9 months learned to walk. Since then, my days have been consumed with keeping him out of trouble and harms way!
Not to mention, he is now no longer interested in walking, but running to his momentary place of interest...
He is no longer satisfied with sitting in front of Mommy and playing "pat-a-cake", moving a toy truck back and forth, or looking at the pictures in his animals book.

Instead, he likes to tear things up....and make huge messes....and plunder through the fridge...and put everything in his mouth while looking directly at us and running away as we say no, no and chase behind him.
To say i'm exhausted after chasing behind him on a daily basis is putting it mildly, but I wouldn't change it for the world! 

Besides, how could anyone get mad at a face like this?!

Ahhh..Boy's will be boy's right?
Of course. Even though my baby boy gets into way more now that he is fast approaching the toddler stage, he is still my sweet, joyful, silly, baby Jude.

He loves for Ellie Kate and me to chase behind him while his little blue blanket is clenched tightly in his fists. Then, he will stop, turn around and play a game of "peek-a-boo" with it before we catch him. This game goes on until we are all worn out!

He also loves to be Mommy's little helper, to be held by me, and to cuddle up on my chest.

One of my favorite things about being this sweet, joyful, rambunctious, little boy's Mommy is: When I am holding him while multi-tasking around the house or putting him to sleep,  I will sometimes look down and find him staring at me with the sweetest smile, and a look that says he loves and adores his Mommy.
I'm so thankful God chose me to be Jude's AND Ellie Kate's Mommy. They truly are a perfect gift!

A childhood worth remembering

For some reason, I have been thinking about my childhood alot lately. I'm sure that raising two kids has made me think about it more, but that's not the only reason.
I really enjoy replaying the great memories I have of growing up in such a close-knit family and growing up in the company of such caring people in this small town of Yemassee.
I have found myself not only replaying those great memories; but also sharing those memories.
There is something about sharing the stories and memories of my childhood that warms me inside and out. I know it's because of the love and stability that was provided for me growing up- the sense of security each parent, grand-parent, aunt, uncle and cousin filled me with.
I grew up knowing several members of both sides of my family. I can honestly say ALL of them were and are wonderful, kind, caring people. Each of them always placed emphasis on the importance of their faith in the Lord and their relationship with Him. They placed value on living their lives with strong morals and self-respect, and the importance of a close family.
I can go on and on about the events in my childhood that stand out to me in a good way. Most of the things that stand out to me are things that were small but meant so much.
Things like:
Visiting my Meme and Pa and walking to Vincent's drug store with Meme to get freshly squeezed orange juice, listening to the stories she would tell about her Aunt Do and showing me the things in her home that Aunt Do left her when she passed away. My favorite childhood memory with Meme is baking christmas cookies(which we still do). Every year for as long as I remember we have used Aunt Do's recipe's for homemade christmas cookies and they are delicious!
My Meme taught me everything I know about baking and serving my family.

And visiting my Dad's( my momma's daddy) family in North Carolina. I was always so excited to go visit them. Our first stop was always his sister Naomi's house. She always made us feel so welcome.(and cooked the best biscuits!!) My favorite thing to do while we were there was go searching for rocks at my Aunt Rebecca's house. I was a serious rock and arrowhead collector when I was little, and the town she lived in had lots of gems and arrowheads to be dug up. She always took time to help me along my quests to find a new rock, gem or arrowhead. Dad's family taught me everything I know about genuine love for one another and encouragement.

And of course, most of my childhood memories are right here in Yemassee. Living in Yemassee and having most of my Momma's family here, I learned that I had more than just my Momma's mothering eyes watching over me and keeping me "in line". My Cousin Mallory and her family lived next door to us on one side and my Aunt Patsy lived next door to us on the other side. My cousin Travis and his family lived next to her. Needless to say, nothing I did went unseen or un-noticed, but more than that, I knew I was surrounded by family who loved me and were there if I needed ANYTHING.
Most of all I had the friendship of my cousins who were my age, all on one street. We played for hours and hours, daily!
While I mostly grew up hanging out with my cousins, the only other friends I had here were my cousin Travis' friends who were of course, boys. I learned real quick to either get tough or get lost. I got tough real quick!

So many things from my childhood made me the person I am today but the one person who truly influenced who I am is My Momma.
There are so many teachable moments in the life of a child. I was reminded today that the influence of a mother is one of the greatest influences in the world.
Today, Ellie Kate said to me, " You know Mom, someday God is going to give me children to stay home with and take care of, and I will be a Mom just like you."
I said to her," Yes Ellie Kate someday you will be a Mommy-just like me. Do you want to be the kind of Mommy I am to you?" Ok, I know that was a loaded question to ask Ellie Kate,(for those of you who know her,You know she is brutally honest) She said, "Yeah Mom, I want to be just like you."
I almost burst into tears knowing that even though I have made countless mistakes as a mother, and will probably make a million more, she still wanted to be like me.
Mothers make mistakes but I feel like it's how we handle our mistakes and the people we surround our children with that determines the outcome.
I know my Momma made mistakes along the way in raising me, but I always knew and I still know that her intentions are for my good, my well-being and for my safety, and no matter what she will always love me.
She has always been there when I need her and often puts my needs above hers.
When I was little, she always had the opportunity to be involved in things at school and she ALWAYS made sure I was in sunday school and Church.
My Momma was and is a constant teacher and woman of influence in my life. She knows me better than I know myself and she will always be there to guide me and lead me.
My Momma was a stay-at-home mom and she taught me everything I know about being a Mother.
While there are so many more stories I could share about my childhood and the things I learned during those formative years, these are the one's that are on my mind tonight.
What are the things in your childhood that are worth remembering?

We were created for so much more!

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I was thinking a few nights ago about how easy it is to get wrapped up in ourselves. To get wrapped up in our feelings, our desires, our wants, our needs, etc.... I was so consumed with ME that I was kind of getting sick of ME.
Then I thought, if anything good could come out of this brief period of narcissistic behavior, it would be that focusing so much on me forced me to examine myself and come to the realization that if our lives were as superficial as I was making it, then we have no lasting value- our lives are of no importance in the end.
Thankfully, that is not the case at all. God wants our lives as christians to bring glory to Him and to lead others to an eternity with Him.
We were all created by a living, breathing almighty God. Our lives are held in the hands of a God, who knows us by name and knows the number of hairs on our head.
We were created for so much more than the superficial things that we often times desire.
God created us for His glory. He created us to worship Him; to love, to live, and make his name known in all the earth!
As I was examining some of the things that I allowed myself to be consumed with, this is the passage of scripture I was reminded of-

Psalm 115
 
 ¹ Not to us, LORD, not to us
   but to your name be the glory,
   because of your love and faithfulness.
 ² Why do the nations say,
   “Where is their God?”
³ Our God is in heaven;
   he does whatever pleases him.
⁴ But their idols are silver and gold,
   made by human hands.
⁵ They have mouths, but cannot speak,
   eyes, but cannot see.
⁶ They have ears, but cannot hear,
   noses, but cannot smell.
⁷ They have hands, but cannot feel,
   feet, but cannot walk,
   nor can they utter a sound with their throats.
⁸ Those who make them will be like them,
   and so will all who trust in them.
 ⁹ All you Israelites, trust in the LORD—
   he is their help and shield.
¹⁰ House of Aaron, trust in the LORD—
   he is their help and shield.
¹¹ You who fear him, trust in the LORD—
   he is their help and shield.
 ¹² The LORD remembers us and will bless us:
   He will bless his people Israel,
   he will bless the house of Aaron,
¹³ he will bless those who fear the LORD—
   small and great alike.
 ¹⁴ May the LORD cause you to flourish,
   both you and your children.
¹⁵ May you be blessed by the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.
 ¹⁶ The highest heavens belong to the LORD,
   but the earth he has given to mankind.
¹⁷ It is not the dead who praise the LORD,
   those who go down to the place of silence;
¹⁸ it is we who extol the LORD,
   both now and forevermore.
   Praise the LORD.

1 John 4:9-10- A picture for you, Ellie Kate.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10


When Ellie Kate was about two years old, I decided I wanted to do something special for her.
When I decided what I would do for Ellie Kate, the idea arrived early one morning. Like always, my creativity arrived at 2a.m. and was in full swing. 
I wanted to give Ellie Kate something she could always have and maybe even pass down to one of her children-something that would be meaningful and personal to her.
So I thought, "Salvation-God sending His only son to die for us because He loves us. That is the most meaningful thing in the world and it is also personal."
Then I thought, "A picture, I can paint a picture for her! 
I can paint a picture to illustrate the sacrifice God made through His son and how that sacrifice was made because He loves us, but we are all sinners, and without His forgiveness and blood being shed, we could not spend eternity with Him."
I want her to grasp the concept of how personal it is. I want her to know that Christ blood was shed for ALL of us, even her.
I jumped out of bed at 2a.m. that morning, gathered all of my paint, set my canvas on my easel and began to paint a hand- a large oversized hand. 
I wanted it to be simple. I wanted the picture to remain child-like in its appearance, but the hand needed to be big and strong, because it would represent the hand of Christ.
It didn't take long to paint it because of its simplicity.
I completed half of the picture and headed back to bed in hopes of catching a few more hours of sleep. Besides, I couldn't finish the rest without Ellie Kate.
When she woke up, I told Ellie Kate she was going to help mommy with a picture.
I set out a bowl of red paint and dipped the palm of her hand and fingers in it. I then placed her red, paint covered hand, in the palm of the large hand I painted earlier that morning.
The picture was complete.
A picture of a hand representing Christ's hand, with her handprint in the palm-a red handprint representing the blood shed for all sinners, including her, Ellie Kate Love.

                                                                                  



                                                                                     
                       

A poem for Ellie Kate

My mother taught me all these things

And now I’m teaching you,

So here they are sweet, little girl,

In a poem just for you-

I taught you how to clap your hands,

And the game of peek-a-boo.

You wiggled your toes and laughed,

And then began to coo.

I taught you words like Mama,

And how the cow says moo.

How I’ll always love you,

And that Daddy loves you too.

I taught you how to jump and dance,

your 1,2,3’s and A,B,C’s;

About telling someone thank you,

And always saying please.

I taught you how to say your prayers,

About God’s grace, and how He cares;

About Showing others kindness

And how you’re supposed to share.

Everything I taught you,

I taught you so you’d know-

The love a mother shares and gives

Forever in you lives.

I’ve so much more to teach you

About beauty and self-worth.

And someday soon you’ll understand

They can’t be found on earth.

I’ve so much more to teach you

About life and love and God;

About all the things that mold you

And make you who you are.

One more thing I’ll teach you,

By my example you’ll see-

The joys of being a Mother

Come from more than you and me. 

God's Faithfulness

Recently, I have been so amazed by God's faithfulness. It's not that I'm just now figuring out how faithful He is- I'm just beginning to pay closer attention to the details of His faithfulness.


I'm understanding that His faithfulness throughout scripture isn't only in the moments He offers provision or deliverence; but also in the moments in which we require discipline and  the heavenly Father's loving hand to bring us back to Him when we wander away.


Also, it's not that I underestimate how faithful He is; His faithfulness always proves unfailing in every circumstance I find myself in, no matter the reason. 


One passage I have continually found myself in the past several months, is James 1:2-8
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."


The circumstances that we go through always bring out our true colors. Are we faithful in trusting and relying on God?  Are we looking to Him for answers and for the wisdom we have not yet attained? Are we being obedient, even in the worst of circumstances?


Everytime I feel like my circumstances are unbearable, I always go back to Genesis 22.


I consider how obedient Abraham was when God asked him to sacrifice his only son-His only son, whom scripture says, he loved.


Even in the last second, before the Angel of the Lord called out (11)"Abraham, Abraham!", Abraham was faithful in his obedience.


The angel of the Lord called out, (12) “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”
Can you imagine the relief Abraham must have felt when he heard this?


I love that God wanted to see Abrahams faith in action. I also love that out of our obedience and faithfulness, God desires to bless us beyond measure, which is what gives me such hope in this next passage: 


(15-18)"The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”