Dirty dishes...

"Mom! I found a way we can make a Harry Potter wand!!", Jude exclaimed as I was wiping down the table after dinner. Everyone had already been excused from the table and went their separate ways. I looked over at the sink, the counter covered with crumbs, then underneath the table at the remnants of dinner that had slipped through little fingers while we laughed, chatted and ate together minutes before. 

I looked at the mess. Then looked into the excited, eager eyes of my Harry Potter loving, 5 year old. 

I put down my rag and sat down to watch a tutorial on how to make a wand. 

Before I knew it Jude had jetted out to find a stick, I had warmed my hot glue gun, my art box filled with paint and brushes was on the table, and we were knee deep in a handmade wand. 

The girls ran in as we finished up and decided all three of them should paint when they saw the art supplies out. 

So, I pulled out a cover for the table and read the parable of the Easter lily while they painted what Palm Sunday means to them on little white paper plates. 

We also hung our Easter banner yesterday afternoon. Hayden had a soccer game yesterday morning and we went to the "Easterpalooza" at church shortly after. With all that going on, I almost forgot to put it up again yesterday after forgetting to put it up the week before. It worked out perfectly though, because it opened up an opportunity for us to talk about the meaning of Easter and the significance and symbolism of Palm Sunday. I'm always abundantly thankful for these tiny moments that get my children's attention and allow me to capture their hearts in the process.  

As if yesterday couldn't get any sweeter, I walked upstairs after finally finishing those dirty dishes and found my four loves reading and conversing before bed. 

Yesterday was so full. Full of life and joy. 

It reminded me that my job as a mother isn't just in keeping a tidy house. It's about tending to the hearts of my children. It's postponing the dishes and sweeping the floors to instead make a wand, read a story, and share the gospel with my children- To not just teach them with my words, but also by my actions. See, what I took from yesterday is this: If we as moms don't make time for the small things that are meaningful to our children, we will never be able to capture their hearts with the bigger picture.  

Here's the other thing I took from yesterday: after losing my Pa just one week, two days ago, I still want to cry at the drop of a hat and sleep all day...but I can't. My children and husband need me present. 

My Pa lived and breathed to make known the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope I can be half as sold out as he was. 

I know that starts in my home. 

Friday was one week since he passed. It was a hard day for me but I found comfort in this passage of scripture from 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 as well as a sobering perspective on my job as a mother. It reads:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed,but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

So, I'll take comfort in the truth that as a Christian I can rejoice in life after death and be reunited with my Pa someday. 

And, I will remember to fix my eyes not on the unsightly sink full of dishes, but on the unseen truth of the Gospel being poured into the hearts of my children as I do my best to live out the instructions of Deuteronomy 6:7-9,

"Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

A colorful life.

I have prayed over his sweet little face relentlessly this past week and will keep praying. I pray over all of my children after they fall asleep, but there are times when you know one of your kids is struggling really hard and that the struggle isn't going to let up anytime soon...so you take what you believe in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and you apply it to your life and your children's lives. You learn to let go of worry and you rejoice in the things that make your children special and unique. 

I found this quote when I was reading last night. It made me laugh, but it was also so encouraging to me. It said, "In fact, I don't really understand why it's considered normal to stare at someone's eyeballs." -John Robinson

It reminded me just how blessed I am that God gave me such a bright, colorful, precious boy who is A-ok beating to his own drum, not always giving direct eye contact, and who reminds me everyday that living outside the box is always in season.❤️ 

To the Mom of a colorful child- 

Your child is so special. 

He is loved. 

You are loved.

Every day is treasured and you soak up every moment full of fun and laughter; but every day is also really hard and you never know what is coming at you next.

And that's okay. 

That's what makes him so colorful,and full of life. 

I know, you pray that today is going to go without the anxiety or the next outburst. It doesn't. 

It shows up at your doorstep day in and day out. 

It's the day the socks don't feel like socks because of the "needle skin" on his feet. It's the long drawn out bedtime where you spend 45 min to make sure the covers touch both edges of the bed just right. The day you get the school interim that says he's not mastering the skills quite like he should be.. The day you pray the play date goes as planned per your "colorful child", because anything gone awry could be completely devastating. The day a little scrape on his elbow feels like an arm that's been cut off. 

The day you wonder if he'll look at you directly or avoid eye contact at all cost. 

It's okay. 

You are a good mother.  It's not your fault...Or your child's. 

Your child is bright and super intelligent. You are doing your best and so is he. 

Today is the day you'll let it go, embrace who God created him to be and appreciate the fact that God chose you to be his mother and gave you this life because you're strong enough live it. Be brave, Mom. Trust the lord and rejoice always, but most of all don't forget to pray continually. 

Much love, 

Mama to a colorful child.