Strength in pain.

What a beautiful comfort to know that he hears us. 

"And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for."

1 John 5:15

I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching lately.

I'll never forget my grandad telling me years ago, " wherever you go there you are." 

He always has a way with me and my stubborn ways and I always heed his instruction... Maybe not immediately, but in the end his voice is always there with its calm, but stern instruction echoing until it finally hits home. 

I feel like for the first time in what feels like forever, I'm finally comfortable and confident in my own skin. 

I know there's always room for improvement, but for the first time I feel content and settled. 

I finally feel like things are falling into place just like they should.

It took me a while to get here though.  

See, I grew up in a safe and secure home. Things weren't always perfect, but they were good. I was raised in church, in a Christian home. I knew I was loved and for the most part, life was easy. 

Aside from a few struggles in my youth, and facing things that forced me to grow up faster than I'd hoped, I've lead a pretty normal life. 

I was thinking that it's so funny how you grow up in this picturesque, cookie-cutter home- You think that's how life in the real world works. 

Then life actually happens. Things you can't control show up at your doorstep and you're left with two choices: You can choose the easy way/your way,  or you can choose God's way. 

After the unexpected death's of family members and watching those I love hurt so deeply, along with other struggles I faced during my teen years into adulthood, there were times when I wanted so badly not to feel anything. Times when I became cold, aloof, alone and so afraid. Times when I became a little too good at driving people away. 

I wanted so desperately to choose the easy way out. I wanted to run from every feeling and emotion that started to swell up inside me. 

And I did. 

For several years I rode a roller coaster, ran from myself, and I faked it. 

That wasn't me, and I knew that wasn't who God created me to be. 

It wasn't until my family of four was ripped apart and I was stripped of everything except my children, my friends and immediate family that I realized this- Sometimes you have to lose the vision you have for your life in order to gain the life that God, in all his sovereignty,  has designed for YOU for HIS glory. 

I laid in bed last night and prayed for my children. 

I hate that they have to suffer the consequences of someone else’s sin at such a young age. 

It breaks my heart to know that they are probably the ones who have suffered most from our previous family being ripped apart. 

But then it hit me..that verse that I've always clung to during the coldest of days. The one echoing in my heart when everything else seems to fade away. 

 Romans 5:3-5

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

I’ve quoted this verse to my children in so many circumstances, but it finally occurred to me that they will eventually get it (if they haven’t already).

They will know that they are loved by their mom and dad, by their step-parents/grandparents, family, friends, and most of all that they are loved deeply and unconditionally by their Heavenly Father. That His love has been poured out into their hearts through the Holy Spirit and he has blessed them with so much more through their sufferings. My prayer is that they will understand the consequences of sin, because they knew too early the effects of it.

Later in life, when their hearts are soft towards the pain of others, my hope is that they will understand that their own suffering was for a purpose.

Later on, when they are faced with choices of their own, my heart's cry is that they won't choose their own way, instead they will choose God's way and will be obedient to His will for their life. That they will choose to trust in every circumstance, because they know that so often our suffering is used for His glory. 

I pray that they hide this in their heart. 

I hope that one day they will understand why I shared this verse so often in our home. That like the voice of my grandad in the backside of my mind, these words will echo in every circumstance for them until it finally hits home. 

Sunflowers, lipgloss, and lipstick!

Yesterday my 'soul twin' took our kiddos and me to this gorgeous sunflower field! 

Lately, I've been making a point to really stop and take a minute to enjoy nature in its full display. As a mom, I want to set an example for my kids to value the balance of hard work and stopping to appreciate the world and nature around them. I want them to see, smell and really take in the handiwork of our creator; the one in whom we find peace, rest, and comfort. 

On the topic of hard work..

I am so excited to share with you all that my cousin's wife and my close friend Suryia is launching her own makeup line called 'Who's the Fairest Cosmetics'!

Suryia is a dreamer, a makeup artist based in the beautiful city of Charleston, S.C., and now a brand new business owner to her own line of lipsticks and glosses. She has worked relentlessly to make her dream a reality. I've never seen someone with as much love and passion for what they do and it shines through her work. 

Like Suryia, her company name and logo have flair and that something extra! 

This is her business logo: 

  

And her product with the logo:

So cute!

Whether your a mom on the go, or you fall into another category- these lippies are adorable!! 

I for one can't wait to sample this red!

 

Stay tuned because I will be sampling several colors and sharing them with you here on the blog! Who's the fairest cosmetics launches tomorrow at noon! Go check out Suryia's website www.holycitymua.com to see more! Click on Menu, then click on Who's the Fairest Cosmetic's to view products and place your order!Happy shopping!!

Here is a sneak peek of a few of my favorite lipstick and lipgloss colors!

Elisabeth Elliot, love and a weekend recap!

After the news of Elizabeth Elliot's passing I couldn't help but read several quotes to jog my memory of so much of the wisdom I gained through her literature. Two quotes that made my heart swell and my eyes a little teary were these:

"To love God is to love His will. It is to wait quietly for life to be measured by One who knows us through and through. It is to be content with His timing and His wise appointment."

"God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better." -Elisabeth Elliot 

For every "no" God has ever given me His "Yes" has been so much more than I could have ever asked or imagined. 

For every "severe mercy" I trusted Him in; He blessed me in ways that proved his sovereignty over the desires of my flesh. His will, not mine, proved faithful and good. 

In case you missed it, Ryan popped the question at the Mumford and Son's concert on Thursday!

Mumford and Son is kind of "our band". 

Needless to say, I said YES to the promise of his hand in marriage! 

And yeah, I'm still giddy over the fact that there is a perfect, shiny diamond on a very important finger, but I'm even more giddy over the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with someone I love, respect and desire to come alongside and be a help mate to. 

This is just one of the many ways God has proved that his "Yes" is so much greater, that his timing is impeccable,  and that He gives really good gifts to His children. 

One more quote that came to mind was this:

If God gave it to me," we say "it's mine. I can do what I want with it." No. The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him...."-Elisabeth Elliot. 

As I plan to give my hand and heart to Ryan in marriage, my prayer is that I never forget those words..that we will always remember that the institution of marriage was created to be a picture of Christ and His church, that we will remember to thank Him for the gift of each other, and that our marriage will be a beautiful offering to the one who's plans for our future together far exceed the desires of our heart or anything we could ever ask or imagine.

Here are a few pics from the weekend! 

I was so glad I was able to catch Ellie Kate's reaction when we told her! It was the sweetest. Jude and Hayden were just as excited but a little more camera shy;)

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Weekend fun!

Ryan's mom and dad flew in this past Thursday so they could attend Hayden's dance recital. The kids and I anticipated their arrival all week and were thrilled they would be here for the weekend. 

To quote Jude, "they're the nicest people in the whole wide world." It's true! We love them and we all wish they lived much closer! 

Hayden's recital was Friday night and she did so great! She and the rest of the ballerinas were absolutely adorable!

   

We enjoyed pizza at Mellow Mushroom after the recital. 

I'm not sure what's going on here.. Jude loves the statues at MM and Ryan's responsible for the photo. That's all I know. 

Saturday morning we all headed to North Myrtle Beach. It was the perfect day to set up the chairs, enjoy lunch and spend the afternoon beside the ocean. 

Ryan and his Dad went for a short walk on the beach while his mom and I stayed back to chat and keep an eye on the kids. It was so nice to relax and chat with her. I'm so thankful that she's not just 'my boyfriend's mom' but that I can also call her a friend. 

The men returned shortly and I was able to capture so many sweet moments while the kids played in the sand and splashed through the waves.

Time does fly when you're having fun because Sunday came around way too fast!

I'd love to rewind to the weekend but I'm too busy looking forward to making more sweet memories in the future!