Be grace.

When I was little my grandad called me Grace, because I was the poster child for the antonym of graceful. I was clumbsy and would trip over my own two feet. Some days, underneath the woman I've grown into, I still feel like that little girl who was more like a bull in a china shop than the budding lady my mom always hoped I'd be. 

As I've always viewed that nick name as sarcasm for a girl who can't seem to stand on her own two feet; the older I get, I'm starting to wonder if I've been wrong all these years. Maybe that nickname given to me by my grandad so many years ago wasn't sarcasm at all. Perhaps the fact that there are days I can't stand on my own two feet is a mere metaphor for the very definition of a life lived in the grip of grace. 

Grace-

What is grace? In the New Testament grace means God’s love in action towards men who merited the opposite of love. Grace means God moving heaven and earth to save sinners who could not lift a finger to save themselves.

What a beautiful picture of unconditional love. 

Romans 3 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

For all those times, literally and physically, that I've fallen flat on my face, His grace abounds. 

Ephesians 2:8 says,

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

It's ok that most days I can't stand on my own two feet. Grace still abounds. 

One verse that I always share with my children is Psalm 139:13-14.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I know God created me with purpose. Sometimes, I still wonder what His purpose for my life is aside from being a mom and Ryan's future wife. As I've prayed and pictured what his purpose for my life is, the word Grace has been what comes to mind. 

It's like God's saying, "Don't worry about the details or about being your idea of a perfect mom, future wife or perfect anything; just be a picture of grace." 

Maybe not all of us were meant to be extraordinary, to have it all together, or walk the tight rope without tripping over our own two feet. Maybe the only thing the God of the universe asks of our lives is to live out who we are in each moment of our everyday lives. To be the picture of grace that He so lavishly bestowed upon us and to point others to Him. 

For me, right now, I feel like my calling is to simply be that picture at home for my children and for Ryan. I know that my greatest ministry is at home. Perhaps God will use my ministry here on this blog as well as at home to minister to others. I don't know. I do know that he's sovereign and "in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."  -Colossians 1:16&17

A world with October's.

When I was younger, I loved to read and my grandad knew it.

He would encourage me to stick with it by bringing me books on all occasions or sometimes just because. 

He'd bring me Nancy Drew, Goosebumps, The Secret Garden, and books from the Anne of Green Gables collection until I had them all. There were so many more but these were my favorite's. Especially Anne of Green Gables! Sometimes I'd stay up all night reading them.

One the quotes I just love is by Lucy M. Montgomery from Anne of Green Gables-"Im so glad we live in a world with October's."

Me too. 

After all, October is my favorite month. 

My favorite month in my favorite season. October, for me, has always brought this burst of warmth. 

Warmth of colors, tastes, and smells. A feeling of comfort and of being home. 

My mom came up on Monday to see the kiddos and help me out because I've been so sick. 

I'm thankful she is close and can be here within a couple of hours. 

She cooked for us and spent extra special time with the kiddos. 

Yesterday I mustered up the energy to get ready and we took the kiddos to the local farmers's market to get a pumpkin. Does anyone else love October's and the Farmers Market as much as I do?!

After much consideration, they each found their 'perfect' pumpkin!

After we got our pumpkins, flowers, hay bale, and a bag of boiled peanuts we headed across the the way so the kids could play on the seesaw. 

We headed home just in time for Hayden and Ryan to drop in and have a visit. 

My mom found skeleton Cheetos at the grocery store. Hayden and Jude had fun finding the pieces to put Mr. Skeleton together. Then they ate him up!

I love simple, soft moments. The ones where you know the memories are dear because of whom you've made them with. Not because of how extravagant or exciting it was; or how smoothly things did or didn't go. 

"After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string." - Anne of Avonlea

Rain.

Hosea 6:3 is one of my favorite verses. I love the entire passage as well. 

“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us;

he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us;   on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” Hosea 6:1-3

This is such a beautiful reminder as we pray for the devastation all over our state. It's a reminder that God is faithful, He will heal us, and restore what's been lost.

It's also made me realize that just as the rain has flooded and wrecked parts of my home state of South Carolina, our father in heaven wants to wreck our hearts and flood them with who He is. 

He wants to wreck us so that there is nothing left of us, only Him. 

Something doesn't need restoring until it's completely wrecked. I know this may be a bold prayer, but I pray that God will wreck the depths of my soul until there's only room for Him. That He would restore me in His perfect image. That my heart would be flooded until it's bursting with his mercy, grace and loving-kindness. 

May He come to us like rain! 

It's all alright..and lately in photos.

I created this blog not just to share what's happening lately, but more as a vessel for God to use me. 

This space is my offering back to Him in hopes that because of my story, He gets the glory that belongs only to Him. 

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 

your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you."

3 

Psalm 139:11-18

Lately life has been coming at me full swing, or at least it feels that way. 

I'm no stranger to up's and downs. It's been something I've wrestled with a lot over my life. I think we all do at some point, right?

Seasons of depression come swiftly, without warning, and with no intention of leaving as swiftly as they rush in. 

I'm learning that even though it may feel like it sometimes, it's not the end of the world. 

For me, even though my mind is a million miles from earth in this particular season, I'm introspective, creative and write more from the heart. 

This is proof that God can use the seasons of darkness and sadness just as much as he can use the seasons of gladness. The bottom line is- He loves us no matter what season we are in and He desires to use us in both. 

My sweet mama has been sending me bible verses and encouragement daily. Even when I don't want to, I read it anyway.

While I was cooking and doing my thing in the kitchen tonight these verses came to mind:

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:37-39

It's ok. It's all alright! No matter what season I'm in, high or low, NOTHING can separate me from His love. 

What a relief and a light in the darkest place. 

I often think about the ways God has blessed me. My kiddos, Ryan, my family, you guys, the rest of my tribe, and my faith are what keep me encouraged and remind me to keep persevering.

My little lovebugs are so tender and are watching my every move. It's one of the reasons I know I have to press on even when I don't feel like I can press any further. 

It's also one of the reasons why I believe God's truth that children are such a blessing- 

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them..." -Psalm 127:4-5

On a lighter note here are some photos from what's been happening lately! 

We haven't been exempt from the rain here in Florence, so today the kids made the best of being inside and played "school". 

We also cheered for the buckeyes after their win against Indiana.

We might have some future buckeye cheerleaders standing in front of us!

I should be laying out my crew's church clothes for tomorrow. Instead, I'm blogging and before this I was in the kitchen making my grandma's recipe for vinegar-based slaw. Its my favorite!! I added some of my own pizazz to it. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to dig in, so I did a few "taste test's" to make sure it was just right.

I had a much needed movie night with Ryan last week while the kids were in Memphis with their Dad and stepmom. 

I also got to have a girls night a few weeks ago with my best friend Erika! 

"Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find." -William Shakespeare

We encourage each other and sharpen each other. She's the one friend who's allowed to criticize me and tell me the truth even when it hurts because I know I can trust her. 

She also challenged me to do the October yoga spice challenge! You can follow me on Instagram if you want to see me look really awkward as I try to do daily yoga poses like this..