December.

December is minutes away. For me, it always brings love, laughter, and a sobering reminder of a plan put into action and made complete by the maker of the stars; the one who's ways are not our ways nor whose thoughts are our thoughts. 

Sometimes life throws these moments right in front of you. Moments that stop you dead in your tracks, cause you to breathe a little heavier, make your throat lumpy, and your eyes fill up with tears-

Not because what's happening is sad, but because you know that moment is passing faster than a speeding bullet and the second you blink it's gone. 

I'm a dreamer, an idealist. Always have been. It has it's perks, but sometimes I have to remind myself to be present especially in this season of motherhood. 

I love the quote, "You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today, it will be over before you know it."

That quote alone makes the tears flow. 

I'm thankful for moments like tonight where I stopped to watch my children find joy in decorating our humble little tree while we sipped hot chocolate and watched Christmas movies. There is so much beauty that is in store for them that they don't even know is already in the works. I can't wait to share those with them and here on this little space, but tonight I wanted to share what was on my heart after I soaked up this precious time and tucked them in bed. 

Knowing that Ryan has worked continually in providing a future for not just me, but my kids also, and that those things will be played out over the next 30 days reminded me of how God is constantly working in our lives in ways we don't or can't always see. 

3 "When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

    human beings that you care for them?"

I can't help but dream of our family and what God has in store for all of us over the next month and years to come. I can't help but praise Him, thank Him, and humble myself before Him for all the plans he's put it to place without me even knowing.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

    

Such a time as this.

"Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created..." Esther 4:14

This picture stirs up so much emotion in me. 

When I step back and watch my children I know without a doubt that I was made for Motherhood. When I can see the freedom, joy and life in their eyes. When I can see it in their attitude and actions, I can fully grasp the rewards of being my children's mother. I catch a glimpse of how much God loves to see his children embracing the freedom he gave us through the cross. 

It's so easy to get in caught up in the day to day duties of motherhood. Sometimes those days can be overwhelming because it doesn't look like joy and freedom. It looks like failure, tears, and a plea for God's intervention. 

When I take a step back and watch the fruits of my labor I'm blessed beyond measure and filled with so much hope, joy and overwhelming gratitude for grace in moments when I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. 

I read chapter 4 of Esther during my quiet time this past week and it encourage me so much. 

"If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?"

I'm reminded that my job as a mother isn't just to live aimlessly; my job is to train by children and raise them up in the grace and admonition of the Lord. 

If I, like Queen Esther, keep quiet and lose sight then someone else will do my job. We live in a time when children are hit from every side by the world's view of life. If I am not diligent to instill in them a firm foundation built on the rock, the world will be sure to build a house on sinking sand. 

"Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai:  “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

I love Esther's courage and steadfastness. Not only was she willing to do the work of the Lord, she was willing to lay down her life for His kingdoms cause. 

What an example of a strong woman and what an encouragement to us as a mother's to be steadfast in the purpose for that which God created us.  

I thank God everyday that even on my worst day in training up my children, I was made for such a time as this. 

Everyday is a blessing. Every moment is a lesson..and every second of those minutes I am thankful!