Moving Day.

"Get over your hill and see what you find there with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair." After the storm, Mumford and Son's   

Today was the last day of our three day moving adventure. We are completely moved into our new home. I can't thank my Parents and Ryan's buddy enough for all of their help. 

There's no better place to stand than to stand confidently in the midst of God's will for your life.

The truth is, I always thought I would have a certain life. 

The day the kids and I moved into our condo, I let go of that. The life I was previously working towards, with unclenched fists..no hatred or bitterness..with completely open hands, handed back.

I trusted God would take care of us the day I signed the lease to our condo on 3035 Combray Circle. I wasn't exactly sure how, but I kept the faith. 

I believed with all my heart He was going to change us here. I felt my heart being changed the minute I turned the key and slowly peeked around the corner as I opened the door to our little "shoebox" as I often called it. We laughed, cried, loved hard, yelled, shared secrets (and bedrooms), prayed together, and dreamt together over the past two years in that tiny little space. Some days it felt so small and confining, but most days it was warm and cozy..and we made it our home. 

I knew moving day was coming, but I couldn't have anticipated quite how fast. 

Leaving this home was so much more than just leaving a home. It's a house filled with redemption, memories and our stories in each of its walls.

Every memory played out like a short film in rewind as I closed the door behind me and locked it as the kids and I move on to the next chapter of our lives. 

I've always struggled with letting go of things: Cards or letters that every loved one has ever given me, trinkets from high school or my children's baby clothes, pictures that bring painful memories or items that remind me how far I've come. 

The hurt, the struggle, the surrender- that all makes us who we are. It brings us each to different outcomes but at the end of the day it makes up the pieces of who we have become. It's okay to hold on to the things that are part of us, but there are also times when there's freedom in letting go. 

This home will forever hold a piece of my heart. It has fingerprints of God's handiwork in my life and in the lives of my littles. It's seen me at my worst and it's seen us change into who we are today.

In one week from today, Ryan and I will be married and sharing our new home as a family of 5. 

There's so much to be gained when we live a life with open hands. 

"You open Your hand And satisfy the desire of every living thing." Psalm 145:16

Here's to open hands always.