Home sweet home...

The past two weeks have been so full of emotion for me as a mother, and for my sweet kiddo's. 

Aside from holding fast through the Hurricane that devastated parts of my hometown and parts of the town we live in now; I've spent most of the past two weeks preparing, praying and trusting the Lord as he leads my children and the rest of "The Sherman Five" through a season (maybe several) when we are going to need Him more than ever. I shared my heart with my few close friends but I don't feel like I should go into detail here. At least not yet. Mainly out of respect for others, but also  because my children are still processing. I think we all are. Last night was a tough one for my oldest. I don't have all of the answers for her.. I wish I did. I'm learning that it's okay if I don't and it's okay for her to know that. It's good for her to see My faith in action. I don't have the answers, so  I'm simply closing my eyes,  holding my savior's hand and  trusting (again) in his faithfulness and loving kindness. I'm trusting fully..I really am, but as a mother, when I see my children hurting- my heart aches. 

As a mother I want to protect my children from pain. I'm learning lately however that it's important for me to step aside so that they learn to accept the pain. I can't take pain and suffering away or numb it for them anymore than I can my own. I can only show them where to run when it's overwhelming. I can only teach them fruitful ways to use their pain and suffering as a springboard for the gospel. 

I'm so much of an observer.  With all that's going on in my personal life and in my community, I couldn't help but to stop and observe parts of my life from the perspective of an outsider. .. Among  the devastation, the one thing I observed after hurricane Matthew blew through and relentlessly tore through our town and neighborhood is this: In our neighborhood, we gather. In good times, or times of need, we eat, laugh and gather in homes where everyone is like family. I've never been so thankful and grateful for friends who feel like home. None of us thought twice about opening up our homes, filling in the gaps, and offering assistance to those who needed it. We gathered as comrades..as neighbors...as family. 

"A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life," according to a statement on Project Semicolon's website. 

This past week was also mental health awareness week. I know that the author is not me but God the father. I also know my story won't end until he calls me to my heavenly home. I can't think of a better time to bask in the faithfulness of the lord- to thank him for friends and family. Mental health awareness week is always a reminder to me of grace upon grace. It's  a reminder of a merciful savior who has comforted me and held me when the wounds were deeper than I could bear.   I've spent so much of my life trying to numb the pain in ways that leave me scarred physically and emotionally.. I don't want my children to ever go through that. I want them know that they are so loved and so valued. I need them to know that they will not be abandoned. Christ came because life is ugly, messy and full of people who are going to hurt us, but we are called to love anyway.. And even bigger than us; we are called to forgive anyway. 

The silver lining is this:

While life is full of ugly messy people, life is also full of people who love us and teach us the value of biblical friendship. 

And sometimes they might be wrapped up in both. 

This past week has been full of all kinds of things, but what I will remember most is the gratitude I hold for friendship, homemade's, creative writing with my little's and living room forts.  Because today, this is my home sweet home.