15 days

365 days. The number of days in a year-

The number of days it takes for all four seasons to complete their purpose. 

178- The approximate number of days it takes mother earth to prepare her home for the surrender of Autumn; to brace herself and everything in creation for the colder winds of Winter. 

187 days- The approximate number of days we relish in the gradual increase of warmth that produces the growth of Spring that blossoms into the freedom, joy and laughter of Summer. 

15 days- The number of days I’ve wept myself to sleep because of being unjustly and momentarily stripped of tangibly relishing in a love deeper than the depths of my soul for a purpose bigger than I can fathom; The number of days I’ve embraced winter without clutching the preparation of autumn. 

15 days- The number of days I’ve questioned God for answers to reasons far beyond my comprehension, meanwhile trusting in a purpose orchestrated by him-  the one who is faithful, merciful, and just. 

A precious friend sent me this song last night. It’s  written by a dear college friend- Chris Brown, the beautiful Kari Jobe, Steven Furtick and Cody Carnes. 

Scripture says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6) .

To those in my village who see me, who have surrounded me with love and prayer in this season of forfeiting that’s preparing me for a season of fullness with my precious littles -

My heart might be aching and feel empty right now; but my soul is full and resting in perfect peace today for what’s to come, because every single one of you have stood in the gaps for me with prayer and supplication. You’ve full-filled needs I didn’t even know how to express and you’ve filled my soul with comforting reminders that he is near and he is for me...and for that, I’m eternally grateful. 

‘The Blessing’ Lyrics-

The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you

And give you peace 

Amen, amen, amen

May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children

My word for the year.

I waxed and waned as I felt compelled to choose a word for this year. 

It has been a while since I’ve done this, but...

Tonight, I caught a glimpse of my daughter’s bucket list. I observed it, pondered it and finally discerned it in all it represents. 

Elizabeth Kathrine. 

Elizabeth- “Consecrated to God”.  

Kathrine- “Pure”.  
“Ellie Kate”.I named her, then nick-named her the moment I knew I was expecting her. I felt in my heart God had blessed me with a girl. Indeed he had. She is a force to be reckoned with (in case you’ve never met her). She’s reserved, yet confident, decisive, fierce, stronger than any human I know, and quite frankly put- she’s just..well, one of the really good ones. I’m not just saying that because she’s one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever been entrusted with, ask anyone who knows her well. Even though I often joke about her being a 35 year old in a 12 year old body, the fact of the matter is, she is still only 12 and she’s still watching and listening to me. It was reflected in her bucket list. Honestly, I feel like a pretty lame mom for neglecting that reality just because she’s such an old soul with more logic and sound judgment than most adults I know. The truth and the bold reality is that even old souls still need their mama, require leadership, boundaries, guidance, encouragement and a whole lot of wisdom. 

Jude Goodwin.

Jude-“Praise” 

Goodwin- “Friend of God” and my mother’s maiden name. 

I’ll never forget praying for a baby brother with Ellie Kate after we’d watched ‘The Wizard of Oz’ for the umpteenth time on a pallet of blankets and pillows in our living room while her dad was away for work. We prayed, trusted, and God answered our quiet, small prayer late that night. 

Jude Goodwin- That boy has gifted me with more understanding, empathy, and a reason to praise than I could ever express in words. Though often times he seems aloof, his heart of gold, willingness to   please, desire to make humankind smile, and his wild nature remind me to see the world through the eyes of my children each and every day. He also, reminds me that I’m still that 8 year old kid in a 34 year old body...and that’s okay. He’s a ray of laughter and sunshine on the gloomiest of days. He’s a stream of consciousness when everyone else is afraid to say it out loud and he’s not afraid to color outside the lines.
Hayden Eva. 
Hayden-“Fire” 
Eva-“Full of life”. 

I didn’t choose her name but God gave me the most beautiful gift of being a stepmom to this petite soul when I married Ryan. Her quiet, tender, conscientious personality reminds me that who we are is engrained soul deep. She encourages me without words to constantly encourage with words and reminds me to be intentional. They say motherhood is the purest love you’ll ever know. Friends, I’m here to tell you with out a doubt that the love of a mama extends beyond whether or not you’ve physically birthed a child, because I love and know that precious girl inside and out just like my “own”.

Motherhood. In all its glory..From trusting God’s goodness in seasons of pain, heartache, loss, and plea-full prayer; to seasons of grace, mercy, and prayerful praise- my children have been a picture of his goodness in every season and an affirmation that HE has called us each and every one by name... just like the very name I gave my children when he, in all his omniscience, whispered those names into my heart the moment they were entrusted to me...Yet, he didn’t stop there. He entrusted me with a name I’d never anticipated through the most unexpected and beautiful gift of being a stepmother.The beauty of this life, not just in motherhood but in it all, is that he has a perfect plan specifically for you and me as individuals to live out authentically. It's much easier to live that out when we take the time to truly observe not just inwardly, but outwardly as well. 

Pure: without any extraneous and unnecessary elements. 

Lately, I’ve been so busy trying to physically keep up that I’ve neglected taking the time to be grounded in the moment, soak in my surroundings, and discern the here and now, so that I hear HIS voice above the rest. 

My prayer for 2019 is that I will have eyes to see, a heart that embraces the gift of discernment that was given to me by the one who calls me by name, and the courage to stand firmly, confidently, and unapologetically in that truth. Or in the lyrics of my favorite band, Mumford and Sons, 

“Keep the earth below my feet

For all my sweat, my blood runs weak

Let me learn from where I have been

Keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn.”

Which is why this year, my word of the year is Discern. 

Discern : to detect with the eyes: or to detect with senses other than vision.

Do you choose a word for the year? I’d love to hear yours! Happy 2019, friends❤️

Soul deep.

“The most beautiful people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and their souls in their smiles ...” 
I read this quote recently and it stopped me dead in my tracks because I remembered:

I struggled in school..not necessarily academically (although often times that was the case in subjects I was uninterested in), I struggled most as an empath...as an artistically inclined personality and abstract thinker in the concrete mindset that is often private school. I remember my mom being honest with me my 9/10th grade year about the feedback from one of the teachers she’d conferenced with concerning my status as a student. She said, “Ms. ‘So and so’ said that your “problem” is that you wear your heart on your sleeve. That you’re going to have to learn to toughen up and stop being so sensitive.” My “problem”? As if being a tender, sensitive soul in a broken world was somehow wrong. I don’t know to this day what my Mom’s feelings were, (because I never asked) I do know this, I was too immature then to realize that Ms. ‘So and so’s’ advice had more to do with her own heart than it did mine. I did (embarrassingly) try her advice out for several years and it was miserable, not just for me but for those around me. It severed friendships and left me empty. See, insensitivity is not a personality trait I was given when God created and formed me. Pretending and using my imagination has always been an outlet for me, but not in this case. Trying to be someone you were never created to be is like wearing a suit that doesn’t fit. And let me tell you, after trying that particular suit on, I had no intention of tailoring it to fit the opinions of that said teacher... or others for that matter. Especially after I paid the price of trying to conform. 

In an effort to conform, I earned the stripes of rightful criticism from peers and the deserved judgement that one receives when acting like a jerk. 

My mom finally allowed me to switch schools after a long talk and several dramatic attempts to gain a fresh start. 

In that fresh start, I found my tribe of wallflowers....A tribe of liberals, full of open-mindedness, and acceptance of a fellow troubadour who wears their heart on their sleeve and has an intolerance for bull crap. I found a tribe of people who have lived, seen, and heard the unspoken; and for some of us, survived the the unbearable pain of things far beyond our years. 

Today, after a lifetime of things that could have made me a bitter human being, I am thankful that the silver lining in it all is this- I caught an early glimpse of the destruction that bitterness creates. 

I hope that somehow through it all, this road my maker has asked me to walk has made me a better, less bitter human being. If nothing else, I know that it has taught me that wearing your heart on your sleeve might make some humans uncomfortable, but that’s okay- Healing isn’t always soft and tender, it’s often in contrast. What that suggestion from one bitter teacher has taught me is that wearing my heart on my sleeve can often times provide empathy- an unspoken notion of, “I see you and I’ve been there too.” Or sometimes it’s simply a silent cry for help to those who can hear the words that you’re unable to communicate. 

It’s the reality that others have been there. It’s the sobering truth that being something or someone who isn't you causes more damage than the healing that vulnerability allows. 

For me, looking back, it was also this: An unspoken notion from my mother which stated, “You are strong and I believe that you are mature enough to handle the ugly truth of humanity well beyond your physical years.” So thank you to the teacher who tested my strength but even more thanks to my mother who knew my strength and trusted in my wisdom.❤️
So I leave you with this tender souls; Beauty, in it’s rawest form, is always soul deep.

On reminiscing and looking ahead....

I stumbled upon this picture while trying to find photos of my art for an upcoming art endeavor.
A feeling of nostalgia washed over me like a calm wave on an easy summer day, but I was quickly engulfed by an undertow of emotions as I thought about all that this picture represented.
I reminisced the days of being a single mom in a two bedroom condo- The too-frequent moments I felt abandoned, helpless, frightened, and grieved as a mother for the hearts of my children. A time when art was the only way to speak because the words wouldn’t come; when my art supplies fit into a small, brown wicker basket and my studio was a cozy, little corner on the kitchen floor. A place where redemption was found and grace abounded greater than the oceans tides.
There were parts of myself I let go of with unclenched fists as the sound of the lock clicked shut on the door to that season of our life in what we referred to as our  little “shoebox”, but what I gained and carried with me from that season has opened new doors to places, people and circumstances that have given me eyes to see and a heart to share. It’s a beautiful reminder to me of why Paul instructs us to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances.
There’s so much to be gained when we “let go” with unclenched fists to make room for what God has in store our lives.
I can’t wait to share the finished product of some of the commissioned pieces I’ve been working on. However, today I wanted to share my heart, because there are a couple of things in the works that I can rest assured are parts of a bigger picture of God’s sovereignty over circumstances I once questioned, but continued to trust him through.
My hope is that somehow sharing these words will be an encouragement to you today.

Travel Day

I'm swooning (maybe sobbing a little) over this throwback to these little nuggets who are growing faster than my mama-heart can handle sometimes.

 Today Ellie Kate and Jude are headed to Nashville to spend a couple of weeks with their Dad, Step-mom and baby brother.. I still struggle with watching them go. I wish I could say this part of life after divorce gets easier but it doesn't. It has however taught me that selflessness rarely comes without sacrifice.
 After I finished packing them up yesterday, we spent some time in my daughters room- just the three of us. We we were chatting and feeding their pet fish. I don't really remember much of what was said after the conversation shifted to the importance of caring for another living creature by cleaning the fish tank and feeding the fish before they left,  because I drifted as I began to study every movement their little bodies were making: How my daughters hands, as she put the fish food in the tank, no longer look like the baby hands that are engraved in my mind from when she was an infant and once wrapped them around my finger as I nursed her. They look more mature- like helping hands that offer kindness without hesitation. I noticed how Jude's face and eyes no longer look like the baby that once gazed up at me when I sang him 2 a.m. lullabies. They look more mature- like eyes that see into the souls of others and want to offer empathy in places others sometimes over-look. How the baby boy whose mouth took forever to utter a word now speaks with encouragement, enthusiasm and a million "I love you's!".  I observed hearts that are being softened through things I wish they didn't have to endure but that I know are necessary for wisdom, growth and understanding.
 These little ones that the Lord has entrusted to me now look like big kids that are maturing in so many ways beyond their physical appearance. They are becoming more independent as each day goes by.
The reality that they are leaving town leaves me selfishly wanting to keep them here so I don't miss a single moment; but sacrificially and selflessly I watch them go because my heart wants what their heart needs.
 When I was expecting Ellie Kate I  heard that the days of motherhood are long, but the years are short... I don't think anyone could have prepared my heart for the bittersweet weight of that truth. (Even on the days we all get on each other's nerves.😉)
All of this said, my heart does rejoice in the weight of this glad truth- that often times sacrifice offers great joy. And joy is resounding :

"Many sacrifices were offered on that joyous day, for God had given the people cause for great joy. The women and children also participated in the celebration, and the joy of the people of Jerusalem could be heard far away."
-Nehemiah 12:43

Happy Friday eve, sweet friends!

Jord Wood Watch and a GIVEAWAY!

I am so thrilled to share with you all about my collaboration with Jord wood watches! 

I was recently asked by their company to feature one of their gorgeous, unique wood watches on my site. 

I only want to represent and feature what is true to my style and what I know my followers will love, so I did my research and a bit of browsing through their selection (you can shop all women's styles HERE.)! They have so many beautiful options for women's and men's watches. I would have one in every color if I could! Since I really wanted something I could wear with everything, I went with the zebrawood and champagne. It's my absolute favorite fall accessory right now!

I have to be honest, I was like a kid at Christmas waiting for my gift. Our mail man couldn't deliver my timepiece quickly enough. 

The kids and I had just returned from the farmers market when I spotted it on the porch! 

You guys know I love aesthetically pleasing things, so when I opened my package and saw how awesome the little wooden box it came in was, I couldn't wait to see the rest!

It didn't disappoint! The detail in the zebrawood adds the perfect touch while the champagne face gives it a lovely chic look. 

When I put it on it was a perfect fit! Their size chart is true to size. It's what I used as a guide for my measurement. With that said , I did size up a little only because I like my watches to be a tad loose. 

You can shop my watch HERE

 I love that I can dress it up or down so it goes perfectly with any #ootd. Not to mention it's so light weight!  I can't express how much I love my Jord wood watch.

I could go on and on but I need to share this last piece of exciting news:

 My friends at Jord are offering my followers a sweet giveaway!! One lucky winner will win a $75 voucher toward any Jord purchase! Plus, just for entering the giveaway you get a $20 coupon code to use towards any purchase! It's a win win! 

To enter, simply click on the GIVEAWAY link below and fill out the information. 
https://www.woodwatches.com/g/jenniferashleysherman

Wishing you lots of luck! 

XOXO

Watch Gift Ideas

Home sweet home...

The past two weeks have been so full of emotion for me as a mother, and for my sweet kiddo's. 

Aside from holding fast through the Hurricane that devastated parts of my hometown and parts of the town we live in now; I've spent most of the past two weeks preparing, praying and trusting the Lord as he leads my children and the rest of "The Sherman Five" through a season (maybe several) when we are going to need Him more than ever. I shared my heart with my few close friends but I don't feel like I should go into detail here. At least not yet. Mainly out of respect for others, but also  because my children are still processing. I think we all are. Last night was a tough one for my oldest. I don't have all of the answers for her.. I wish I did. I'm learning that it's okay if I don't and it's okay for her to know that. It's good for her to see My faith in action. I don't have the answers, so  I'm simply closing my eyes,  holding my savior's hand and  trusting (again) in his faithfulness and loving kindness. I'm trusting fully..I really am, but as a mother, when I see my children hurting- my heart aches. 

As a mother I want to protect my children from pain. I'm learning lately however that it's important for me to step aside so that they learn to accept the pain. I can't take pain and suffering away or numb it for them anymore than I can my own. I can only show them where to run when it's overwhelming. I can only teach them fruitful ways to use their pain and suffering as a springboard for the gospel. 

I'm so much of an observer.  With all that's going on in my personal life and in my community, I couldn't help but to stop and observe parts of my life from the perspective of an outsider. .. Among  the devastation, the one thing I observed after hurricane Matthew blew through and relentlessly tore through our town and neighborhood is this: In our neighborhood, we gather. In good times, or times of need, we eat, laugh and gather in homes where everyone is like family. I've never been so thankful and grateful for friends who feel like home. None of us thought twice about opening up our homes, filling in the gaps, and offering assistance to those who needed it. We gathered as comrades..as neighbors...as family. 

"A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life," according to a statement on Project Semicolon's website. 

This past week was also mental health awareness week. I know that the author is not me but God the father. I also know my story won't end until he calls me to my heavenly home. I can't think of a better time to bask in the faithfulness of the lord- to thank him for friends and family. Mental health awareness week is always a reminder to me of grace upon grace. It's  a reminder of a merciful savior who has comforted me and held me when the wounds were deeper than I could bear.   I've spent so much of my life trying to numb the pain in ways that leave me scarred physically and emotionally.. I don't want my children to ever go through that. I want them know that they are so loved and so valued. I need them to know that they will not be abandoned. Christ came because life is ugly, messy and full of people who are going to hurt us, but we are called to love anyway.. And even bigger than us; we are called to forgive anyway. 

The silver lining is this:

While life is full of ugly messy people, life is also full of people who love us and teach us the value of biblical friendship. 

And sometimes they might be wrapped up in both. 

This past week has been full of all kinds of things, but what I will remember most is the gratitude I hold for friendship, homemade's, creative writing with my little's and living room forts.  Because today, this is my home sweet home. 

Rejuvenate Beauty Co. and our weekend in pictures.

I am so excited about my recent collaboration with Rejuvenate Beauty Company! When they contacted me to tell me about their product and the mission behind it, I couldn't wait to try it so that I could share it with you all!

Saturday was a super early morning for us. Hayden had soccer picture's before her soccer game then we had to travel about 45 minutes away for her gymnastics performance at a local festival. It was super hot but we still had a blast.

When we got home that afternoon Ryan checked the mail and I spotted my package from RBC in his hand from a distance. I immediately opened it up to find my coffee scrub in the cutest packaging.

I was finally able to get a relaxing bath and try it out late Saturday night. 

I'm very particular about what products I put on my skin, especially since my skin is so sensitive. I'll just go ahead and say I'm already obsessed with this product. It exfoliates really well, but it's not harsh. I've used sugar and salt scrubs that were so harsh they dried my skin out and left it in worse shape than before. With RBC's coffee scrub, not only was I able to exfoliate from head to toe (because it's gentle enough for your face too), it left my skin so moisturized I was able to skip that part of my skincare routine! (I'm all about one less step.)
One of the reasons I love their product is because it works so well. I also love it because their mission is to provide jobs through fair trade and bring hope for others around the world with every purchase.

The other thing I'm loving is that they are giving my followers 15% off of your first purchase when you enter discount code SHOP15 at check out! Just click the link below!
 Rejuvenate Beauty Co.

Our vacation in pictures.

I've shared a few photos from our trip to Hilton Head on Facebook and Instagram, but wanted to share some here on the blog too. 

It was so nice to squeeze in a last minute vacation before the school year got super crazy. 

Ryan's Aunt and Uncle so graciously allowed us to take advantage of an opening in the schedule and enjoy some much needed R&R at their condo. They also live nearby in HHI so it was icing on the cake to stop by for a visit on our way back home to Florence!

Last night I was looking back through all the pictures from the trip and realized I'd taken (like always) way more than were necessary. 

One of the things I love to do as a mother is stop and observe my children no matter what they are in the middle of doing. 

I never want to get so caught up in the "busy"ness of raising them that I forget to stop and soak up these little moments that are building the foundation of who they are becoming. 

 I often find myself taking "too many" pictures while observing, but these moments- the ones where they are are so full of life and care free- these are the ones I want to hold on to forever. 

While we were at the condo, the kids repeatedly exclaimed how it was "the best vacation ever!" 

Watching them have the time of their lives running wild and free and seeing that they were content being knee deep in the sand for hours made me smile. The world sometimes leaves us thinking our kids need all the extras- the extravagant vacation with all the extra stimulation. 

I love those types of vacations and I know that they can be so much fun, but when you have children who are already naturally over-stimulated it can be overwhelming. 

Being by the ocean, watching the waves crashing onto the shore, hearing the seagulls squawking as they swooped down for food, mixed with the sound of humanity surrounding us was the perfect lullaby while the kids danced across the sand and their imaginations ran wild. It stirred up my soul a bit as I observed their sense of wonder in full display. 

Saturday night we enjoyed dinner..

 And putt putt at Adventure Cove. 

We went to harbor town Sunday night. Ryan and I both grew up going to Hilton Head so we were craving the delicious seafood at The Crazy Crab the minute we arrived in HHI. We couldn't wait to eat there. We also took the kids to the light house. They raced to get to the top. The view was so beautiful.

We all appreciated the fact that there was a playground just around the corner to occupy the kiddo's while we waited on our table at The Crazy Crab. 

We mostly spent time just playing on the beach getting our skin sun-kissed and our toes sandy. 

I've had a few people inbox/DM me about my cold shoulder dress. 

My dress, clutch and cover up were purchased here:

Pieces Boutique

Together.

"The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care." 

I love the verses of the bible about God as an artist- the ultimate creator and maker of heaven and earth.  

When I sit in front of a white blank canvas with my art supplies, I often times sit quietly and stare at the canvas before I even pick up my brush. In my mind I see the different images pass over my support base like a slideshow of film stills. Each image taking me back to a different set and stage of life. Sometimes it feels a little overwhelming- the feelings, the emotions, the rush of creativity that builds up and takes over. I begin to apply a vision. Before I know it, I'm immersed, invested, and my heart, mind and soul are being poured onto that white blank canvas. 

                         Together

 "Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." Vincent Van Gogh 

Viewing my marriage as art sometimes helps me with the "bigger picture"; seeing Jesus in the details reminds me why. 

Encouraging each other. 

Parenting together. 

Spending time together even if it's just watching our favorite Netflix series after a long day of his office work and my stay at home carnival train. 

Setting aside 5 minutes daily for a lunch break phone call.

Trusting and having faith in my husband as the leader of our home. 

Saying I'm sorry and forgiving each other when one of us is super sensitive and overly emotional (yeah that last part is all on me).

Working together through the small things; because a lasting, fruitful marriage- with all of its good, bad, and ugly is the bigger picture. It's a portrait of Christ and his church. A portrait with eternal value. 

When I see the vision Ryan and I share for our marriage, I see that choosing to invest and being purposeful in the "series of small things" are those very details that paint the story- those seemingly small things are the things that add up to the big picture. 

After all, sometimes you have to focus on the details to understand the masterpiece. 

Back to school and what really matters.

I can't believe school is already back in session!

We have been so blessed to have such amazing, caring teachers each year at Lucy T Davis.
My sweet kiddos were so excited about their first day back!
Look at those sweet faces!

Monday night Jude said he could make his own lunch now that he is a "big boy". Be still my heart.

Jude was a little anxious before they left Monday morning. I think the girls were just ready to see their friends. Either way...

I think this next picture proves everything went exceptionally well. 

When I was writing notes for these "three musketeer's" lunch boxes last night, I told them we are proud of them and I encouraged them to be a friend to someone today. Because...

Years from now, at the end of their school career,  it won't matter what they wore or how trendy they were. What will matter is how they treated others- that they were a picture of Christ for someone.

What will matter years from now is that every "today" for the next several years in our home, Jesus is in the details. 

What will matter is that I make my heart a home for Jesus so that grace and mercy overflow from my mouth when I'm shepherding the hearts of my children. 

In the book, a beautiful offering, Angela Thomas wrote:

"It matters where and how you build your house, because the life that you have built on Jesus is all that will stand. What you have done and created and loved in the name of Jesus is all that will last."

What I invest in and act on in the name of Jesus is a picture for my children. 

Making our home a welcoming place for friends to gather and encourage one another is a picture for my children. 

Making time to read the bible each night to one kiddo and the devotional book to the other two even though I can barely hold my eyes open is a picture for my children- An offering back to the lord for entrusting his children to me as their earthly mother. 

I don't know that I come close to getting motherhood, or life in general right any day of the week, but I do know motherhood is my biggest, most treasured gift in this season of life and life thereafter. Therefore, I will make it my greatest offering. It will be done in the name of Jesus. 

Their eternity depends on it.